18 Hilarious Baseball Cards

For many, one of the greatest joys of growing up as a kid, was collecting baseball cards. On those rare occasions that I managed to compile consecutive weeks of average-to-good behavior, I was bribed rewarded with a trip to the local coins, cards, and collectible shop. I can still vividly recall the excitement of opening up the packages of baseball cards, hoping for a prized rookie card of an up-and-coming star.

I was recently rummaging through my old stash of cards, and a new kind of excitement washed over me. The excitement of finding hilarious cards of yesteryear. Here are 18 of my favorites…

#18: Stubby Clapp

What a great baseball name. How do you make a big leaguer name even better? By chomping on a monstrous plug of chew of course! Well played Stubby. Well played.

#17 Wade Boggs

Baseball clubs have been known to put on some wacky promotions in an attempt to fill seats. I guess this was bring your rubber chicken to the ballpark day?

#16 Mike Jacobs

Now you know the difference between what a real baseball player looks like when compared to a guy that thinks he could be a baseball player.

#15 Chris Gwynn

Chris, what are you doing in the batter’s box?

#14 Mickey Hatcher

C’mon ump, there’s no way that glove can be regulation.

#13 Ted Kluszewski

This has to be the manliest baseball card ever.

#12 Kirby Puckett

The day Kirby auditioned for Baywatch.

#11 Keith Comstock

I wonder how many times they had to do this in order to get the perfect shot?

#10 Ken Phelps

I’m pretty sure Ken has to register on some kind of “offender” list when purchasing a new home. Please Ken, stay away from my children.

#9 Greg Minton

If Stephen Hawking was a baseball player, he would have been Greg Minton.

#8 Dick Brown

Like it or not, phallic jokes are part of clubhouse culture. I’m sure Brown’s teammates had some fun at his expense.

#7 Pete La Cock

Sigh…

#6 Brian Harper

Hey, can I call you back? My arm is REALLY tired.

#5 Herb Score

We know which guy was in charge of party favors on road trips.

#4 Don Mossi

Don Mossi took coaching very well. When coaches shouted their instructions, Mossi always responded “I’m all ears coach!”

#3 Bill Ripken

Hijinks in the clubhouse have always been part of baseball. Evidently, someone took a sharpie to the bottom of Ripken’s bat prior to team photos. Due to it’s comical rarity, this card has fetched thousands of dollars in the collector market.

#2 Frank Zupo

With built-in eye-black, Frank was genetically disposed to be a great baseball player.

#1 Rich Batchelor

This guy must have had some killer pickup lines back in the day. “Hey girl, wanna get to know a Rich Batchelor?”