For many, one of the greatest joys of growing up as a kid, was collecting baseball cards. On those rare occasions that I managed to compile consecutive weeks of average-to-good behavior, I was bribed rewarded with a trip to the local coins, cards, and collectible shop. I can still vividly recall the excitement of opening up the packages of baseball cards, hoping for a prized rookie card of an up-and-coming star.
I was recently rummaging through my old stash of cards, and a new kind of excitement washed over me. The excitement of finding hilarious cards of yesteryear. Here are 18 of my favorites…
#18: Stubby Clapp
What a great baseball name. How do you make a big leaguer name even better? By chomping on a monstrous plug of chew of course! Well played Stubby. Well played.
#17 Wade Boggs
Baseball clubs have been known to put on some wacky promotions in an attempt to fill seats. I guess this was bring your rubber chicken to the ballpark day?
#16 Mike Jacobs
Now you know the difference between what a real baseball player looks like when compared to a guy that thinks he could be a baseball player.
#15 Chris Gwynn
Chris, what are you doing in the batter’s box?
#14 Mickey Hatcher
C’mon ump, there’s no way that glove can be regulation.
#13 Ted Kluszewski
This has to be the manliest baseball card ever.
#12 Kirby Puckett
The day Kirby auditioned for Baywatch.
#11 Keith Comstock
I wonder how many times they had to do this in order to get the perfect shot?
#10 Ken Phelps
I’m pretty sure Ken has to register on some kind of “offender” list when purchasing a new home. Please Ken, stay away from my children.
#9 Greg Minton
If Stephen Hawking was a baseball player, he would have been Greg Minton.
#8 Dick Brown
Like it or not, phallic jokes are part of clubhouse culture. I’m sure Brown’s teammates had some fun at his expense.
#7 Pete La Cock
#6 Brian Harper
Hey, can I call you back? My arm is REALLY tired.
#5 Herb Score
We know which guy was in charge of party favors on road trips.
#4 Don Mossi
Don Mossi took coaching very well. When coaches shouted their instructions, Mossi always responded “I’m all ears coach!”
#3 Bill Ripken
Hijinks in the clubhouse have always been part of baseball. Evidently, someone took a sharpie to the bottom of Ripken’s bat prior to team photos. Due to it’s comical rarity, this card has fetched thousands of dollars in the collector market.
#2 Frank Zupo
With built-in eye-black, Frank was genetically disposed to be a great baseball player.
#1 Rich Batchelor
This guy must have had some killer pickup lines back in the day. “Hey girl, wanna get to know a Rich Batchelor?”