11 Warning Signs That You’re Addicted to eBay

As a self-proclaimed, modern-day picker, you spend your time and fortunes on eBay. Not only is it filled with the things you’re looking for, it’s also chock-full of things you never knew existed; but now that you know they exist, you must have one of each. And being the fearless treasure seeker that you are, you spend your days scrolling and clicking your way through the endless rabbit hole of junk treasure. If this sounds like you or someone you know, you may be addicted to eBay. Still not sure? Read on…

#1: Your social life is scheduled around auction times and Wi-Fi availability.

When asked to go somewhere, the first question you ask is “Do they have Wi-Fi?”

 #2: Your social life.

Wait, never mind. Who are we trying to kid? You have no social life.  

#3: You talk about eBay like it’s (1) a person, and (2) your friend.

Who needs friends when you have eBay?

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 #4: You suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome… in both hands.

Don’t pretend this is caused by anything else other than holding onto the mouse for 20 hours a day.  

#5: You frequently get packages in the mail that you forgot you even ordered.

It gets embarrassing when your spouse sighs and brings you the third package delivered to you in a week… and it’s only Tuesday.

#6: You’ve worked from home, or missed work entirely, just to sign for that thing you bought last week.

You could’ve had it delivered to the office, but then everyone would know that you have a problem.

#7: Your recycling bin is always overflowing with cardboard boxes.

I hear cardboard boxes make pretty stealthy forts.

#8: Your email calendar, bedside clock, and cellphone alarm, are all synchronized to alert you 10 minutes prior to auction end times.

On high frequency auction days, your house sounds like a Baroque orchestra.

#9: People often tell you there are more fun things to do than spend time on eBay.

Your response: “You don’t know what fun is.”

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#10: Your spouse tells you that your time would be better spent reading a book.

Dinosaurs didn’t read. Now they’re extinct. Coincidence? I think not.

#11: You refuse to let anyone use your laptop, for fear they may close one of the 37 tabs you’ve had open for a month.

They see a laptop. You see your precious.